A Thug By Any Other Name

In order to defeat the Republicans, we must understand them. Since their actions and policies seem to be immune to any sort of logic or reason, we can at least try to work out their organizational structure.

The conserva-nostra is a shadowy, secretive, ruthless organization, powered by billions of dollars of corporate loot. But my question is: how do you tell the henchmen from the minions? A partial list follows.

Karl Rove- Your classic henchman. Sure, you can't imagine him actually cutting any throats with those soft, pudgy hands, but you know he'd approve of it. He also seems to be content to stay near the top without trying to take over; something henchmen are known for.

Ann Coulter- Henchman. (and throat-cutter)

Rick Perry- Minion who thinks he's a henchman with a chance to be Boss of Republicans. The Fredo of the Republican Party. Also useful for getting rid of coyotes.

Sarah Palin- Comic Relief who also thinks she can be Boss. (Probably doesn't know what henchmen and minions are anyway.)

Conservative Commentators- You could just say they're the spawn of the Devil, and leave it at that. But I like to think of each and every one of them as a cute, cuddly, little Goebbels Baby.

That's it for now. I realize this list barely scratches the surface, but you gotta start somewhere.