Help! I've Fallen, and I Can't Get Up!

  Rick (Under Indictment) Perry has left the race. He will soon be followed by more also rans who also haven't run very well, but Perry will be missed. He was the first person ever to run for president while under indictment, so we will never know how he would have handled both a campaign and a trial.
  It would have been both interesting and stomach turning.
  I, for one, am sorry we'll miss it.
 

Everything's Trumpy-Dory

  Donald Fucking Trump signed the Republican oath of fealty today.
  Republicans everywhere can now breathe a sigh of relief that Trump won't be running against them.
  He'll be running with them.
  Isn't that wonderful?

Dead Party Walking

  The RNC, in their infinite wisdom and incredible desperation, have put out a loyalty oath, to be signed by the plague of candidates running for president. Though the entire swarm is being 'asked' to sign, everybody knows that the real target is Donald Fucking Trump, who for some goddam reason leads the rest of the gaggle in all the polls, yet still refuses to rule out a third party run.
  Loyalty oaths.
  The weakness and fear the Republican party is projecting now is palpable.
  I think the only thing that could possibly top the pathetic, despondent hopelessness we are seeing, would be to- I don't know- commission an autopsy.
  But that would be ridiculous.