From The Vault

  Jeb Bush, in his lead-up to running for President, has enlisted the aid of his brother George, in order to reinforce his claim that "I'm my own man." This reemergence of W. led me to look through my copious notes of George W. Bush's Presidency (The Intellectual Interregnum.) I found the following piece deep in the archives, wadded up, and leveling a table leg:

  Since finding ourselves at war on September 11th, the President has been remarkably consistent in his insistence that the only way to win, was to completely enact the conservative agenda, and to spend money like it's going out of style. Basically: "Keep Calm and Buy Stuff." Words of wisdom to be sure. But I began to wonder how past Presidents have comforted and assured a troubled nation at the beginning of hostilities. As I delved through history, I found many examples of bravery, including Nathan Hale's stirring; 'I only regret that I have but one credit card to give for my country." As I wish to compare Presidential utterances, however, the following two quotes should suffice:

   Franklin Delano Roosevelt:
                 
 "Yesterday, December 7th, 1941- a date which will live in infamy- the United States was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan.
  Therefore, my friends, it is absolutely imperative that you go about your daily lives as if nothing has occurred, in order to snatch victory from the enemy's grasp. It is also urgent that you purchase, to the best of your ability, all of the automobiles, refrigerators,  and modern conveniences, that you possibly can, in order to fully support the economy and assure our ultimate victory...."

Profound. And now Lincoln:

  "This is, essentially, a people's contest. On the side of the Union, it is a struggle for maintaining in the world that form and substance of government whose leading object is to elevate the condition of men; to go about our daily lives as if nothing has occurred, thereby denying to the rebel that comfort and that aid, which shall sustain him; and also to procure such goods and provisions to excess in order to better maintain the engines of our industry."

 Well, given those examples, I don't see how anyone can seriously question George Bush's leadership credentials.

 Note:
  The preceding piece was undated, and also lacked any attribution of the quoted material. As my journalistic standards have always been impeccable, this shouldn't concern anyone.

One Little, Two Little, Etc. Part Two

  Yesterday, Senator Ted Cruz announced his candidacy for President of the United States. As the only candidate officially in the race, one might think he would be in a good position to take the lead. Turns out, not so much. Everyone on his side seems to be against him. Even Representative Peter King called him "just a guy with a loud mouth'.
  I am quite looking forward to the primary debates, however long Cruz lasts. For starters, during his announcement, Cruz promised to "repeal every word of common core'. Which happens not to be an actual law. Which means it can't actually be repealed. Fortunately for Cruz, the right wing don't consider facts to be entirely relevant to their world-view.
  While I weep for the nation, I rejoice in the comic possibilities.
  Hey, I think I just figured out schadenfreude. 

For Cats (Quote of the Post)

"In 1830 it was a snug collection of modest one- and two- story frame dwellings, whose whitewashed exteriors were almost concealed from sight by climbing tangles of rose vines, honeysuckles, and morning glories....When there was room on the ledge outside of the pots and boxes for a cat, the cat was there--in sunny weather-- stretched at full length, asleep and blissful, with her furry belly to the sun and a paw curved over her nose. Then that house was complete, and its contentment and peace made manifest to the world by this symbol, whose testimony is infallible. A home without a cat-- and a well fed, well-petted, and properly revered cat-- may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?"

Mark Twain The Tragedy of Puddin'head Wilson

For Squeaky and Bester and Wheezer and Weebles and Tiger and Stymie. And all the other well- revered felines I have known.

Quote of the Post

"When two people go to Brooklyn together they are forever bound by a sort of mutual sympathy."

Rex Stout, Excess Baggage (short story)

Carved in Stone

  Two American tourists were arrested in Italy for allegedly carving their names into the walls of the Coliseum. Good. It is wonderful to see the preservation of history, rather than the defacing and destruction of it.
  Such vandalism was once the norm for tourists. The Temple of Dendur, which now rests in the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York, is covered with carved names from the 19th century. Mark Twain made the following observation, and wish, in Innocents Abroad: " One might swear that all the John Smiths and George Wilkinsons, and all the other pitiful nobodies between Kingdom Come and Baalbec would inscribe their poor little names on the walls of Baalbec's magnificent ruins, and would add the town, the county and the state they came from- and swearing thus, be infallibly correct. It is a pity some great ruin does not fall in and flatten some of these reptiles, and scare their kind out of ever giving their names to fame upon any walls or monuments again, forever."
  The bitterest irony, of course, is the complete, and deliberate destruction being committed by the reptiles of ISIS, while the case in Italy plays out.

Quote of the Post

"We used to spend money we earned hoeing at a raspberry farm to send away for books we saw advertised in Argosy or Stag or True magazine that would give us what they called secret powers. If you're hoeing raspberries for thirty cents an hour in the hot sun what you want is secret powers."


Jim Harrison, Brown Dog (novella)


Harrison is also the author of the novella Legends of the Fall, which I have yet to read, as it is not shelved at the library branch that I patronize.

...By Any Other Name...

The right-wing has been excoriating President Obama for refusing to use the words 'Radical Islamic Terrorists' when referring to ISIS, and other enemies. They point out, quite rightly, that only by using the proper name can our enemies be defeated. This, of course, is the highly effective "Rumplestiltskin Strategy', in which, immediately upon saying the name, the earth will open up, and demons will drag them to the pit of hell- as happened in the aforementioned story. And, as any child knows, the only possible counter to the Rumplestiltskin Strategy is the 'Sticks and Stones Gambit', which must be used immediately if it is to have any effect. As Republicans are aware, the enemy lacks the sophistication necessary to successfully deploy such a defense, and will therefore be defeated. Would that the president would only see the light, and bow to the collective wisdom that is today's Republican Party.


Side-note:
The destruction of Ol' Rumplestiltskin, and his cool weaving-gold-cloth-from-straw factory, deprived us of one of the most exciting and innovative start-ups in the history of folk-lore. I, for one, will always regret never being given the chance to wear gold-woven tube-socks