Rub My Belly

Chris ("I worked the cones") Christie seemed uncomfortable as Trump's lap-dog as he stood in back of Trump during his Super Tuesday victory speech. Whether the calls for Christie to resign by a group of Jersey papers, his tanking favorability numbers (worse than turnpike traffic), or the fact that he is now supporting a man he once claimed was unfit to be president, is suddenly getting through his thick skull, Christie did not look amused Tuesday night. Who could have guessed that standing behind Donald Trump would be as onerous as kneeling behind him?

Ass Kissing Ass

  Looking for a good reason to stay out of New Jersey, where he's as popular as holiday traffic on the turnpike, Chris ("I worked the cones") Christie has endorsed Donald Fucking Trump for president. He was right behind Trump on stage tonight,  just as he was behind Trump when he was running against him. The only difference is that now Christie is a lot closer to Trump's behind.

  On the subject of 'What took you so long', Lindsey Graham said today, that his party is "Bat-shit crazy".

Clearing the Room

Chris ("I worked the cones") Christie did indeed rethink his campaign. He thought he'd had enough and dropped out. He may sit down, but I have no real hope that he will ever shut up.

Also gone is also-ran Carly (Planned Parenthood is cooking and eating babies) Fiorina. As the only Republican woman running, Fiorina provided a patina of warmth and hominess that will be sorely missed.

Jim (I don't know enough about him to give him a nick-name) Gilmore has also dropped out. After experiencing the exponential increase of votes from Iowa to New Hampshire (from 12 to 133), Gilmore left before we could see if this was a trend. If he were to continue to increase his votes exponentially, my calculations show that he would have had 1.3 billion votes by the seventh primary. Too bad we'll never know.

13 Little (literally), 14 Little (figuratively)

  Bobby Jindal and Chris Christie have both announced for president.
  Although they both share the intense hatred of their respective constituencies, these are very different men.
  Jindal, the governor of Louisiana, is known for saying that Republicans shouldn't be "the stupid party." Although that horse left the barn years ago, Jindal had good reasons for saying it: he didn't want the competition. Jindal has been embracing every extreme position he can. He doubled down on the fictitious 'No-go Zones' popularized and then withdrawn by Fox News, and his positions on evolution, climate change and education put him solidly among the Cro- Magnon wing of the party. I like to think of him as 'the thinking man's idiot'.
  Chris Christie, who was called a liar by the New Jersey Star-Ledger, has presided over a record number of credit downgrades and is surrounded by investigations, does bring an important quality that has otherwise been lacking in this race. Christie is the only candidate with an ego as big as Donald Fucking Trump.
  I am looking forward to the debates with such excitment, that I may very well piss myself.
  I promise to keep you fully informed.